I’m at my son’s baseball practice. I love baseball practice! As a kid, I lived for baseball practice - so, as an adult I get to live for my son’s baseball practices. I’m just trying to say that I’m involved here. I’m getting to know the coaches a bit. They are all great guys who are great with the kids. I’m talking to one of them today before everything gets kicked off and he’s telling me a few of his views about women. I’m going to have to ask you to use your imagination - or not - because the colorful language eminating from his lips is not repeatable. Let’s just boil it down to: Women are in their own world, wish I hadn’t married, wish I could do it over, I love my wife, but wouldn’t do it over, etc… I simply listened. Sometimes it is almost refreshing to hear someone talk this way because as soon as they find out you are a pastor they become fake. They pretend around you and I hate that. I want someone to be real and if this is how he feels, I’m thankful that he feels like he can tell me in his own colorful language. I told him that I thought it was honorable that he has remained married (21 years) even though he has those feelings. Acknowledged that marriage is incredibly difficult, but the most rewarding relationship that I have ever had.
Here we insert the 30 pause in the conversation. The kind that signals a change in topic. “So, do you have a job here in Bellevue?” My heart stuck in my throat. Not because I don’t like to talk about my job - I love telling people about Pathways, but I knew that “fakiness” was just around the corner. It happens every time. I told him I was a pastor and that we were starting a new church here. His first words were, “Can you believe how much baseball they have these kids playing right around Easter time. These kids should be in church tonight - it’s the night He died, you know.”
AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
I wanted to tell him to quit faking it and keep cussing. Let’s be real and let “authenticity” take us into conversation. It’s a long season and I’m excited to build a relationship with him. I only hope he can get past the fact that I’m a pastor.
March 28th, 2005 at 11:36 am
I agree with you 100% about the fact that people turn fake the second they find out that you’re a pastor. Many times when people look at me as a 23 year old with flip-flops on and my hat on backwards, they are surprised to find out that I’m a preacher. However, soon to follow the surprise comes a total about-face into the realm of what you referred to as “fakiness.” I remember people from the Northwest very well, just thank God that you’re not attempting the same thing out here in the Bible Belt.
April 4th, 2005 at 7:34 am
I don’t want to come across sounding like I’m missing something here but after reading this the question keeps repeating in my head…
Why didn’t you say what you were thinking to him? Why not keep it real? Be honest with him and open that dialouge.
“You don’t need to be different, keep it real, I’m a guy, flesh and blood just like you”
Sure the dynamics may not have been there in that situation, that moment in time, but I think that sometimes we as Christians can take a joy in watching other people squirm and trying to be “good” around us. It may have thrown him off, surprised him. Who knows? But It would have been out there and it would have at least been something for him to think about if not then, later.
It’s a tough one to get around…but some how we need to find those connecting points and maybe even show some of the broken and weaker parts we our selves have and carry.
I’m sure you were awesome in this situation Dean…I can’t imagine you not being awesome…I just had to throw that out there so it would leave me alone.